He was often moody. On days when he tries to be happy, you can see its forced and on days when its genuine, I pray it last longs. That’s the story of this child.
He would often complain of how everybody hates him and no one wants to be friends with him. His classmates didn’t want him around because of the odd vibe they complain he brings. “I don’t want to be his friend” “Why?” “He’s always complaining and getting angry”
Mosttimes I’ll have to sit with him and listen to all his tales just because no one else might be interested in them. So we spend time talking and because of he started confiding in me.
I noticed him crying that day and though it’s not the first time he would start crying out of the blues but something told me this was different. “Please help me massage my back, it hurts” “What happened to you” “My parents were fighting, I tried settling it and my dad pushed me. I hit my back against the wall” “OMG!! When did this happen? Yesterday?” “No. It happened few month ago. I’ve been taken to the hospital but it still hurts occasionally”
It was them I understood the type of home this child was from. It was then I got to know he never has a permanent place to stay. Today’s he’s at X’s house, tomorrow at Y’s house and next day he’s asked to stay at Z’s house. Hello!!! This boy is barely ten. Why hate him?
I was shocked at the sound I heard and quickly rushed into the class. “What was that?” “Aunty, X slapped his brother” There’s no way that sound was as a result of a slap, it was just too loud so I hurried up to check the face of Y who was holding his chin and crying loudly. No way! I can clearly see X’s fingerprints on his face.
“Jesus! What is the meaning of this? Why did you do this?” “I was on my own and he came and said gyeijbbdkkw to me”
You might feel X is a terrible child but the fact is his parents fight often with knives, bottles and other sharp objects. The worst part is Dad is most times drunk so what do you expect from the children. Why hate me?
Abusive relationship isn’t limited to one where fighting is a daily routine. Neglecting a child, hurling abusive words, using vulgar words, unnecessary shouting and screaming, escalated quarrels are also characteristics of an abusive relationship.
So many parents have made their children victims of Adverse childhood experience and early trauma (ACEs). This experiences affects the child psychologically, socially and academically. These experiences often affects the child’s whole being and perception. Even when they become adults, the experiences leave a permanent mark on them.
Why hate me?
The mental health of children is just as important as that of adults. No child deserves a traumatic life. Don’t bring a child to this works only to mess it up for them.
Think of your children before any action you take. Will it help them or destroy them? Lot of parents have destroyed the lives of their children. Often times when a child behaves strangely or below expectation in class, there’s a chance something is wrong at home.
Children deserves better. LOVE US.
I’ll be sharing in a blog post signs a child is traumatised.
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MISS DAIRO'S SPACE 